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What to do when you are pissed off... at clients, at your team, at your manager?

Here's a better way... Get Curious Before You Get Furious.

 

The Pitch
In the high-pressure environment of sales, it's not uncommon to feel frustrated or angry with clients, team members, or managers. However, reacting in anger can often exacerbate the situation and lead to negative outcomes. A more constructive approach is to get curious before getting furious. This strategy involves taking a step back to understand the reasons behind actions or statements that have triggered frustration. By asking why something was said or done, assuming that others are doing their best, sharing your understanding, and seeking clarification, you can navigate challenging situations more effectively. This approach aligns with the principles in "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman, which emphasize the importance of self-awareness and empathy in managing one's reactions and relationships.

Ask Why Something Was Said or Done
When feeling angered or frustrated, pause and ask why the other person might have said or done what they did. This inquiry can provide context and perspective that might not be immediately apparent. It helps in understanding the motivations and constraints of others, which can be crucial in resolving conflicts and misunderstandings.

Assume Others Are Doing Their Best
Adopting a mindset that others are doing their best, even when their actions are frustrating, can help mitigate negative emotions. This assumption encourages a more empathetic approach, allowing for a more objective assessment of the situation. It's about giving the benefit of the doubt, which can lead to more constructive interactions.

Share What You Heard/Understood
Communicating your understanding of the situation can be a powerful tool in clarifying misunderstandings. By sharing what you heard or understood, you open the door for the other party to correct any misinterpretations or provide additional information. This step ensures that both parties are on the same page and can address the real issues at hand.

Ask for Clarification
Seeking clarification instead of making assumptions can prevent the escalation of conflicts. It allows for a clearer understanding of the other person's perspective and intentions. This approach can reveal gaps in understanding or highlight areas where further discussion is needed.

So What?
Getting curious before getting furious is a strategy that can lead to better outcomes in challenging situations. It encourages learning, understanding, and effective problem-solving, all while conserving energy and maintaining professional relationships.

Next Steps
✅ Practice pausing and reflecting before reacting in anger.
✅ Cultivate curiosity to understand the perspectives of others.
✅ Communicate your understanding and seek clarification.
✅ Assume positive intent in others' actions.

Closed Won!
Managing emotions effectively is crucial in the world of sales. How do you handle situations when you're feeling frustrated or angry? Share your strategies for maintaining composure and turning challenging interactions into constructive ones.

Leave a comment or question below (keep it clean, please!), let's learn from each other's experiences in managing our reactions.

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